Well, autumn is almost over and you haven’t heard much from me these past few months. I knew this season would be rough, and I’m grateful to see it come to a close. I’ve been teaching at the university, teaching at the elementary school, taking my own classes (finishing up the teaching license), teaching the periodic class at Laughingbrook, preparing for the American Academy of Religion’s annual meeting, conducting tarot readings, writing for Patheos, running a coven, writing and performing a wedding (in another state!), serving on the board of my archery club, and trying to remember to feed Oliver periodically. Many, many things have sadly fallen by the wayside, and I’m afraid the tarot blogging was one of them.
But not to fear! I’m still carrying on with the meat of the thing. The shop is still open for readings, I still teach tarot locally, and I’m still plodding through my own tarot studies, if at a much slower pace than I’d prefer (seriously, I’ve been on this Qabalah project for almost a year). I’ve also got about a half dozen amazing decks that I want to showcase here (The Ghetto Tarot! COSMOS Tarot and Oracle! Plus some upcoming Kickstarters that I’m ridiculously excited about). I wish I had more time, but lately I just don’t (though I promise I’ll get to those showcase posts, even if it’s just pictures).
It’s discouraging having to pick and choose what to practice (I use that word consciously and broadly…everything we seek to improve upon requires “practice”). I love doing a lot of things, and it’s oftentimes frustrating to feel like I don’t have one niche the way other people seem to. In order to really excel at anything, you have to practice consistently, whether that means playing your instrument every day, regular target practice, consistently writing, or devoting your focused energies to building a business. But if I played guitar, shot my bow, threw my axe, ran, wrote, and studied tarot every day, I wouldn’t have time left to go to work, see my friends, or run my coven. Oliver would never have anyone to play with him. Chaos would ensue.
I’ve met people who are geniuses. I went to music school with one kid whose ear was downright scary. I know people with IQs that make me look like I’ve suffered a recent head injury. I’ve got a covenmate who makes every piece of art I’ve ever created look like drunken fingerpainting at one of those wine-and-paint chains. I know incredible athletes whose every movement makes me feel like I’m back in middle school gym, losing at dodgeball.
I’m not a genius, not a master.
I’m a Jack-of-all-trades, and I think that’s okay.
Originally—so I’ve read and choose to believe—the term wasn’t derogatory. In some instances, the full phrase is actually, “Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one,” and that’s my favorite version.
What looks like fickleness or lacking commitment is actually versatility, so long as I’m still improving and still being mindful when I do practice. I’ll never be a rock star, a champion archer, or someone who can make her entire living working with tarot, but I can be constantly improving and achieving satisfaction through doing what I can do and doing it well.
Tarot is one of those things that’s been with me for years and years, and I know it always will be. I can build slowly, improve on things one by one, and I’ll still see results down the road. There’s no need to beat myself up for not having time to read every book, or not having the cash or energy to take every class.
I think it also makes performing readings more special for me. Burn out is a real thing, it turns out, and when I cut myself some slack I find that my output is of a higher quality.
So I’m still around and you’ll still hear from me here! I’ve got lots in the works and plenty of big plans for the future. But I’m not going to stress over it. In the meantime, you can still visit me on Facebook (and like my page!), read my thoughts on witchcraft over at Patheos, and follow me on Twitter.