What if I get my period in a skyclad circle?

(You’re welcome.)

The one time I’ve ever seen a discussion concerning practical techniques for dealing with menstruation during skyclad ritual appear on a traditional Wiccan e-mail list, the inquiring woman was told (by a man) that the topic wasn’t appropriate. Pretty fucking bizarre given that we’re always collectively going on about reproduction, sex, the naturalness of birth and death, the glory of the feminine divine, and the power of the high priestess. But what have you. Having long ago written said list off as yet another rendition of the ongoing Penis Monologues, I remained quiet and internally recommitted to never silencing such intimate questions in my own outer court.

If menstrual blood and talk of periods makes you uncomfortable, you might, frankly, reconsider your interest in Wicca. There’s an awful lot of vagina stuff going on in Wicca generally (even in the non-heteronormative versions, I’ve found), and menstruation is part of the package for many of us. At the very least, it would be worthwhile to examine your discomfort, particularly if you’re someone who menstruates. If you’re uncomfortable with me talking about my own period, then I’d like to take this time to inform you that I’ve been having one for years and am only just now mentioning it. I’d also like to use the word “vagina” at you again. Vagina. But seriously, you could have surmised this all on your own.  Many of the other women in your life also have periods. Some of them are having them right now.

Thus does my disclaimer end.

Whether or not you think your period is a gift from the Goddess or you hate it because of crippling cramps (both of which are valid feminist positions, as far as I’m concerned), there’s a fair chance that, as a woman, at some point you’ll have to deal with it in circle. What happens when your coven practices skyclad?

It’s actually not the big deal that it sounds like, I’ve found.

I’ve been a tampon user pretty much the whole time I’ve been getting a period. My solution is simple: I tuck the string into my vagina. Bam. Magic. I suppose if I were really liberated, I’d just leave the string hanging (remember the horror surrounding that picture from The Village Voice in 1995?), but I don’t like to advertise what’s going on between my legs any more than I like to be on Wiccan forums (actually, I’d much rather talk about my period).

When you’re ready, you can simply insert a finger and pull out the string. Ta da! All this time you’ve been bleeding internally and nobody suspected. You’re basically a chameleon.

I know some women who cut the string off, but I’ve never found this to be necessary. As long as the tampon is inserted far enough into the canal (OB brand tampons are great for this because they’re wide rather than long and don’t start hanging out as they absorb blood), the string isn’t going to go anywhere. If you choose to cut the string off, you may have to remove the tampon manually, which can be a challenge if you’re a) not very dexterous or b) afraid of your own vulva. As a reminder for those of you who have forgotten or who never had sex education (a disturbing number of people, I’ve found), if you can’t easily remove a tampon for any reason, do not panic. There’s nowhere for it to go. You’re perfectly safe. Just relax and try again later.

I would also recommend giving the Diva Cup or Keeper a try. It’s reusable, cost-effective, comfortable, and totally inconspicuous. Plus you’ll end up with a few tablespoons of perfectly good blood—never a bad thing for a witch.

I was wracking my brain for some bit of advice to give those of you who use pads or other external options. I know some women simply choose to wear underwear in circle when they’re menstruating, pad and all. Some will cover all this with a sarong or other kind of special skirt (personally, I’d go for an animal hide and work it into my ritual costume somehow—this just sounds awesome). Maybe this isn’t really in the spirit of skyclad work, but one does what one must. Your body, your call.

If you use pads because you’re afraid to try an internal method, I would encourage giving it a shot. It can be totally life-changing, allowing you to do pretty much anything you’d do if you weren’t menstruating (except put things in your vagina). If you use pads because you’re afraid of your vagina, I would refer you back to my disclaimer. I would welcome additional input for pad devotees, if anyone has other ideas.

Human bodies are complex, oozing, often gross, totally glorious things. Whatever our individual bodies may include, there’s a fair chance that yours sometimes does things that make you either embarrassed, self-conscious, or just fucking weirded out. The beauty of skyclad ritual is that it can help us come to terms with a lot of those things and realize that we don’t have to be ashamed of them. Your coven is not there to judge your body and its assorted activities. Whether we’re talking about menstruation, boners, what you choose to do with you body hair, your weight, your skin color, how many limbs you have, or what your body is capable of.  The point is to revel in your body, not to demonize or dismiss it. And, when you get to know your body, the things you think are gross start to be less so. Which in turn makes other bodies less gross. Everybody wins.

(As a sidenote, women, I would recommend owning a copy of The Boston Women’s Health Book Collective’s Our Bodies, Ourselves, which has saved me from all kinds of scary, mysterious shit throughout the years.)

10 thoughts on “What if I get my period in a skyclad circle?

  1. I just use pads because I am one of those people that bleeds so lightly its not really a hassle, plus I love my lunapads. But if I practiced skyclad I would get myself some fancy frilly or crazy animal print panties and rock them. In any case, a great post! These things do need to be discussed.

  2. A really good post (I’m starting to wonder if you ever have bad ones)! I don’t necessarily include skyclad rituals in my religious activities; so perhaps the question your post inspired is something that has already been addressed: what about people who have issues with incontinence? Here I’m not just addressing the elder Wiccans: pregnant women often have problems with incontinency; as do some middle aged people who have had to have hemorrhoids removed. Since I am not Wiccan, and happen to be contemplating this topic for the first time as a response to your post, I am also compelled to ask why it seems like considerations such as these are not, as a rule, addressed by the High Priestesses or High Priests of covens that make use of skyclad rituals? It would seem logical that such considerations would be a standard theme in their training; but after reading your post, it doesn’t seem like this is the case. Thank you, again, for getting the wheel in my mind turning!

    1. Larissa Lee

      My coven made underwear kind of half-exempt from skyclad ritual nudity. They made it clear to us all that we could keep them on for any reason, personal or health-related, as long as we understood why we felt the need to keep them on (i.e. work on your person body issues at your own pace, as long as you’re working on them). As a result, the only people who’ve chosen to keep underwear on for skyclad rituals (usually just initiations) are those with a health need, including incontinence and menstruation.

  3. I’ve never understood the whole knee-jerk reaction people have to the subject of menstruation. Maybe my mother just raised me strangely, or maybe it’s helped that I’ve had kidney stones. But the very last place I would expect to be told that discussing periods is “inappropriate” is in a discussion about Wicca, or even witchcraft in general. That guy sounds like he was a real ass.

  4. Katra

    Excellent article! I’ve never even thought about it, as I only perform skyclad alone or with my husband – so a little string dangle never bothered me – it is what it is. Love that you took on this topic though & love your “matter of fact” answer. It reminds me of reading survival guides that tell you how far you have to go from your water source to poop to prevent contaminating the water … things that are a natural part of life, but that no one really likes to think or talk about & certainly not write about! Heavens no – then there’s an actual documentation of the perils of being a human (gasp). 🙂

  5. Chris Mann

    I’ve read that among many native North American peoples, women are not suppose to participate in rituals during menstruation because the creative energy interferes with the ritual energy. Have you ever experienced anything like that.

  6. It’s actually only recently (well, past 2ish years) that I’ve started talking about my menstruation. I hate having a period, but that’s not why I didn’t talk about it before. My family simply raised me that a girl NEVER talks about Aunt Flo’s monthly visit. Ever. With anyone. Oddly enough, the first person I talked openly with about it was my boyfriend! (And I hate having a period because it used to come with horrid cramps, and because I don’t want kids so I don’t see the need for me–in particular–to have one.)

    All that said, I don’t practice skyclad nor do I belong to a coven. (Well, I guess that’s actually kind of debatable now…) But I have always wondered how women handled such a thing, or if the wearing of underwear was allowed for pad wearers. Your post kind of answered that curiosity! Thanks 😀

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