It’s funny how our research interests change as we age and our work progresses (“And by we you mean I,” my internal therapist gently chides.). I’ve gone through long phases, particularly in the beginning, where if something wasn’t immediately and obviously related to Wicca then I didn’t give it the time. I remember watching The Craft at the height of my Teen Witch days and noticing that, in the scene where the girls are at Mass and Nancy is pretending not to notice Chris carrying Sarah’s book, Nancy is absorbing herself in a book on Qabalah. I remember very distinctly thinking to myself, “Why on earth would Nancy care about Qabalah as a witch?”
My adolescent naiveté is pretty hilarious to me now, given 1) that I assumed that the study of Qabalah must be terribly boring and 2) that I failed to recognize the relationship between Wicca and Qabalah. Now, eighteen years since I first saw The Craft (holy shit, guys, the nineties began decades ago) I find myself completely absorbed in its study. It began with the progression of my tarot course (because you can’t study Rider-Waite without studying Qabalah) and then I started seeing tiny parts of my Craft experience and training click into place (in frustratingly miniscule pieces at this point, but still). It’s actually kind of blowing my mind.
A couple of years ago, I tried to read Dion Fortune’s The Mystical Qabalah, which went very poorly, but now that I’ve spent some time examining things through the lens of tarot (with materials from Wald Amberstone and BOTA), I think I’m ready to have another go at it.
This, again, is why I have so little sympathy for Pagans who purport to be “advanced” but claim that there “isn’t enough material out there.” I made those very complaints myself in my early twenties, figuring that since I’d read most of the popularly available books with the words “Wicca” or “Pagan” in the title that there must not be enough advanced material. And now I could practically weep, somewhere between elation and despair, with the knowledge that in fact there’s so much more to study than I could possibly ever begin to comprehend.
What have you found yourself surprised to be exploring along your path?